I finished the editing of chapters 1 thru 10 today and sent it to the editor. Man, I am nervous. I think it is OK, but Kyle really messed up my thinking today by asking me all sorts of questions about story context and how everything might not be as good as it seems. What if the editor does his thing, and I release it but everyone hates it? Will those that pledged feel ripped off? Will they ask for their money back? Will they leave bad reviews? What if I really suck? What if I should have left most of how my words laid out and not accepted so much of what Kyle suggested? I wonder if this is normal. I am sure that it is difficult for every author to submit their work out to the world in hopes of it being accepted. Some of what I have read should not have been released, and some certainly should have. Did they all suffer through these same self doubts?
I hit my goal today on the Kickstarter. Actually, I surpassed that goal by a little over a hundred bucks. There is still about 2 days left, and I honestly hope that nobody else signs up. I don’t want even more pressure to be successful when I may in fact fall on my face. I know I asked for this all by myself, and I shall own up to the consequences, but I still just don’t feel right about the whole thing. Sure, I wrote 12,000 words and have yet to write another 2,000 for the elusive chapter 0. What makes me think I will be able to write another word? What if I cannot? What if I am a one hit wonder, and my one hit is only part 1 of a 4 part masterpiece? Will I let everyone down with not finishing things up?
Well, anyway, I plan on trying again on Chapter 0 and also working on the title page for the print book. I need to work on a bit of graphics for it, and I might start on that this weekend sometime. I suppose that David will get something back to me by Wednesday with any luck. Part of me wants him to totally rip it apart, just so that I will know that I am no good and will not spend another moment on a fruitless escapade. Obviously the other part of me wants him to come back to me with a half dozen sideline comments about how much he loves the story. Only time will tell.